Monday, November 23, 2009

replay .

as the days go by i stand here seeing us drifting away or am i just over reacting ? you say you love me you say you'll never forget about me you say all these things i've heard before yet only a few mean it and a few dont. its hard to believe these words coming from you . I have a feeling our friendship ending at some point in the future but i try not to let these pictures come true . I try I try I think im doing quiet well but how long can I keep up and take anymore of this pain and hurt .
you were my source of happiness and the centre gravity of my pain, how can something so beautiful and bring so much happiness bring so much pain ? its because i care to much for you.


one day you will understand...

Sunday, November 1, 2009

the end ?

I thought you were a great friend - I was wrong but i still believe you are
I thought you were different from orthers - but your the same no difference.
we shared many memories that we once said that would never be forgotten but i guess the bad side flushed them away which was a pity .
im sorry i put you down but without me in your life you can be happy . it never seemed to bother you when i was gone why would it bother you now ? of what happened on saturday ? neither of us approuched eachorther that was our own fooolishness i guess it was of many things , things you would never understand or see or care .
yes im selfish at times and arrogant but im just human .
your not a come and go person well them i wont come anymore im gone
bye my friend . this is the end or is it i dont know.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

New Road

Im slowly recovering from a wound that I think would never heal...
Im heading off in a new road to find the old me the happy and anti-emo michael...
I hate how I am right now And it is not just affecting me but also affecting my <3 ones : (
Part of me wants to say goodbye to her but the orther part of me says stay...
I hope that I can come out strong on my adventure
I'll be having updates on my journey and no he is not in tracey's pants : p

Bye for now ...

Monday, August 31, 2009

too SirMayyson

dw buddy since you mention it I wont tell anyone the stuff we talk about from this point onwards [:

hrrrm my life has its ups and downs but lately its been down ...
to the point where i dont know what eles to do


Wish You The Best In The Future <3

Sunday, August 30, 2009

out of ideas

At this moment in life i dont know what to do anymore I cant think of anything eles to do everything I do or try to do ends up in a mess I cant even keep a friendship alive without fucking it up everyweek over a stupid reason maybe im that selfish i want more then to be friends with her yet knowing we will never be more then
friends....
You can be one of the reasons im happy yet you can be the centre gravity of my pain
im afraid to fall for you once again but im also afraid of losing you as my friend and our friendship we have created over the months .
right now our friendship isent like how it was 1month ago back then we were always laughing but now your here listerning to my sad stories im sorry if your bored of them you dont have to listen to them and pretend you care about me


I hope this pain goes away

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Reality

Im still on my journey to find true happiness yet ive found nothing things are better but slightly not as good as I want things to be I guess we cant get all we want
I wish i could just buy truehappiness in a bag i would buy a life supply of it knowing that i could never find it but its reality things like that dont happen
this is just an update maybe things will get better of worste lets see what the future has planned for me it would be de ja vu ive seen things go wrong before and im not afraid anymore I mean what more can go wrong ?

thanks for reading <3

Friday, August 21, 2009

Whats Happiness?

lately ive struggled to find happiness throughout my search ive still havent managed to find happiness.
Everyday I put a fake smile on a face as if nothing has ever happend.
I've tried to make things better but the better one thing gets another thing bails on me..
when will everything be okay at once ? I guess thats something I would wish back for
it feels like the world is fading away from me ive lost a close friend who knows what i may lose tomorrow? if only i could find a way to stop my mistakes
should i just stop trying ? the more I try the badder things seem to turn out but if I stop trying things seem too stay the same which is bad enough

Ive made it so clear to the girl that I have feelings for her but she still dosent see it so ive given up ..
Ive chosen not to speak to her because im scared that I will fall for her again.
I dont know if this is the right path but its all I can think of at the moment


thanks for taken your time for reading my blog my life is boring yeh ?

<3