too SirMayyson

dw buddy since you mention it I wont tell anyone the stuff we talk about from this point onwards [:

hrrrm my life has its ups and downs but lately its been down ...
to the point where i dont know what eles to do


Wish You The Best In The Future <3

out of ideas

At this moment in life i dont know what to do anymore I cant think of anything eles to do everything I do or try to do ends up in a mess I cant even keep a friendship alive without fucking it up everyweek over a stupid reason maybe im that selfish i want more then to be friends with her yet knowing we will never be more then
friends....
You can be one of the reasons im happy yet you can be the centre gravity of my pain
im afraid to fall for you once again but im also afraid of losing you as my friend and our friendship we have created over the months .
right now our friendship isent like how it was 1month ago back then we were always laughing but now your here listerning to my sad stories im sorry if your bored of them you dont have to listen to them and pretend you care about me


I hope this pain goes away

Reality

Im still on my journey to find true happiness yet ive found nothing things are better but slightly not as good as I want things to be I guess we cant get all we want
I wish i could just buy truehappiness in a bag i would buy a life supply of it knowing that i could never find it but its reality things like that dont happen
this is just an update maybe things will get better of worste lets see what the future has planned for me it would be de ja vu ive seen things go wrong before and im not afraid anymore I mean what more can go wrong ?

thanks for reading <3

Whats Happiness?

lately ive struggled to find happiness throughout my search ive still havent managed to find happiness.
Everyday I put a fake smile on a face as if nothing has ever happend.
I've tried to make things better but the better one thing gets another thing bails on me..
when will everything be okay at once ? I guess thats something I would wish back for
it feels like the world is fading away from me ive lost a close friend who knows what i may lose tomorrow? if only i could find a way to stop my mistakes
should i just stop trying ? the more I try the badder things seem to turn out but if I stop trying things seem too stay the same which is bad enough

Ive made it so clear to the girl that I have feelings for her but she still dosent see it so ive given up ..
Ive chosen not to speak to her because im scared that I will fall for her again.
I dont know if this is the right path but its all I can think of at the moment


thanks for taken your time for reading my blog my life is boring yeh ?

<3